Gangnam Style

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past year or two you have probably heard of the song "Gangnam style" by Psy.  It's one of those one hit wonder types of songs and it is currently sweeping the nation.  It has become so popular in American culture that when we took our last trip to my hometown of West Palm Beach and attended an ice skating show at the South Florida Fair called "America on Ice" they actually had a segment called Gangnam style.  That right, in the middle of a show dedicated to American patriotism there was a song totally in South Korean.

Recently the "Gangnam style" craze has hit our family.  Our son and our daughter absolutely love that song.  During our trip to Florida the song must have been played one hundred and forty two times consecutively by all the nieces and nephews all while doing the cheesy dance that goes along with it.  You know the one; you cross your arms in front of you and skip like a schoolgirl in place.  It's amazing what catches on isn't it.

One of the hooks in the song is when Psy (the mastermind behind this craze) sings" Heeeeeeeeey sexy lady".  Now with the catchiness of the tune sometimes you overlook the fact that your six and seven year old are listening to those type of words.  That is until you as a parent hear them repeating those words.
One evening as we were driving to the store to pick up some things for a school project, we heard our son humming the infamous tune and then he began to sing the lyrics.  Except he was pronouncing it "sucksy" which of course upon first hearing makes you laugh because it's a funny mispronunciation. Then we asked what he said just to make sure we heard right. He confirmed that it was "sucksy" which makes it all the more funny.  The laughter however stops when he, out of nowhere, proclaims "I know what that word means".   Now in that instance as a parent your heart skips a beat because you know you didn't tell him what it means so you wonder where he heard it and how whoever it was that told your son this described the word.  It is your natural instinct to think the worst so you brace yourself and get ready to clarify whatever comes out of his mouth.  So we hesitantly asked "What does it mean?" and he says "It means sweaty". After a rush of relief, there was more laughter because we realized that in his mind the song has gone "Heeeeey sweaty lady".  So then the next question was "Who told you that?"  He answered "my friend at summer camp".

After the laughter subsided and we gently explained to him what the song was saying and what that phrase meant in context, I thought to myself how many times has that happened to us as adults?  Our son just took what his friend told him and believed it without thinking about it or looking in a dictionary (because kids do that, but you get the point).  In this instance it led to a funny moment, but for us as adults how many times in our search for truth have we stopped our quest because we heard something and just believed it.  How many times have we read something that sounded good and just stopped there.  We all, whether we admit it or not, are on a search for truth (or meaning) so as you share a laugh at the misinformation that our son received and believed, let me encourage you to pursue truth in all things.
Chris

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Giveaway

To celebrate our one month blogging anniversary we are doing a $25 visa gift card giveaway!

Here is how it works:
Entry begins at 12:01am Saturday, January 26, 2013 and ends at midnight Saturday, Feburary 9, 2013.  To enter all you have to do is share our blog post on Facebook or Twitter. If using Facebook, tag either Chris Kiefer or Shante Nicole Kiefer so that we have record of the "share".  If using Twitter, hashtag #franticallyrelaxed so we can search the hashtag and verify the "share".  You are allowed one entry per blog post you share per week.  For example, you could share each of our blog posts each week. With 10 blog posts each week, it would give you a total of 20 entries for the giveaway.  A winner will be drawn and notified Feburary 10, 2013. Feel free to verify your entries with us before noon on on February 10, 2013.

Good luck and happy sharing!

Gladiator

Rent it on Amazon

I, like most guys in the world, am a huge fan of big epic movies. There is just something about them that gives me goose bumps. Whether its the big action sequences, watching a man go up against insurmountable odds and come out on top,
motivating monologues, or seeing good triumph over evil (cue Tim Allen's grunting) there is just something that draws you back over and over again. No matter how many times you watch one of those movies they still blow your mind and leave you wanting to go out and take on the world.

One of my favorite movies is Gladiator. You know the tag line (imagine the movie previews guy with the deep voice saying this and I dare you not to get goose bumps) "The general who became a slave, the slave who became a gladiator, the gladiator who defied an emperor." Just writing this makes me want to stop writing and watch the movie the whole way through.

Anyway, in the movie there is one of my all time favorite movie lines. This does need a little background so let me set it up for you. It is the big opening battle scene filled with swords, archers, fire, guys grunting, and of course the build up music that lets you know that something awesome is going to happen. Maximus (the main character) is leading the Roman empire on their last conquest against a tribe in Germania. As Maximus, who will lead the cavalry is getting his men into position he gives his amazing epic speech that I am pretty sure most guys have memorized. In the midst of this speech he says something so deep, so profound that sometimes it gets lost in the manliness of the moment. As he is delivering this speech he says "What you do in this life echoes in eternity."

WOW a truer statement has rarely been spoken and in an epic, bloody, testosterone filled drama nonetheless. Think about that for a second "What we do in our lives echoes in eternity." The good moments, the bad moments, the mundane moments, the uneventful moments, the quiet moments, the loud moments, the proud moments, the humble moments, etc... all affecting eternity. The enormity of that statement just blows my mind.

Thinking of your actions that way kind of forces you to live on purpose doesn't it. Knowing that your actions affect someone's else's eternity makes you stop and think about why and how you are doing the things you are doing. Try it for a little while. Live on purpose, live intentionally and see what eternity can look like. Chris

Identity, Does it Matter?

For the last three years I have been on a journey of becoming fit and caring for my body in a way that honors God with the understanding that I am to be a good steward of all I have been given, my health and my body included. This journey has also been one seeking renewed self confidence and a more positive self image.

Along the way, I have learned many worthy lessons. I will share a few:

• Setting and achieving goals does build confidence. 

• Building physical strength is a great way to build mental toughness and determination because it brings the intangible world of the mind into the tangible world where you get measurable results.

• It is important to finish strong. For example, my goal each time I workout is to finish my last rep with great form and power. If I can't, I do it again because my finish for one workout sets the standard for where I start with the next.  

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have discovered is that a "real" positive self image can't be based on external circumstances. The gym included. Now don't get me wrong, fitness has done a whole lot for me in this journey, and I would encourage anyone to take the first step in living a lifestyle of fitness. It will go a long way in building confidence and alleviating fear; however fitness alone will not create a healthy self image. Its results may be factors that help to change your self image, but it is not where it resides. Self image is found in the heart and in the mind. Let me explain.

I have spoken to people that outwardly have beauty, status, money, strength, health, education and so on, but the large majority of them also have insecurities and not ones they overcome daily but nagging ones that lead to fear and unhealthy self images. So why would outward success not equate to inner success? Because self image is found in something deeper. It is found in how one identifies herself or himself. Many people place their identity in what they can perform, or what outward value they feel they have. The downfall here is that performance naturally leads to comparison and comparison naturally leads to finding someone "better". This can cause a misplaced or loss of identity and a shattered self image that is grounded in external circumstance. So is it possible that the key to having a positive self image is found in having a secure identity?

Jesus was concerned with identity as he asked his followers "Who do people say that I am?" The response showed that there were many opinions on Jesus's identity.  Then Jesus asked "Who do you say that I am?"  Then the answer came, "You are the Son of the living God." Jesus's response was in the affirmative.  read the conversation



What I see here is a secure identity. Because Jesus was secure in His identity as the Son of God, He didn't waiver when his followers responded that some people identified Him differently. He didn't embrace comparisons and question who He was, but rather He embraced His true identity and lived as such.

So this leaves me with a question, where do you find your identity and how does it impact your self image?

And an invitation:
If you have chosen to follow Jesus, I invite you to live as a child of God, a child of a King. If not, I invite you to experience the gift that Jesus gave the world, you included.

Shante

Resolution Success

What about your resolution; are you resolving it?

I have a new challenge to help you suceed at your goal, but first here is an excerpt from an earlier blog where I listed a few inspirations to help with outlining steps to finding resolve.
Resolve - to deal with successfully or to clear up.

• Spend time understanding your current situation and identify what works and what doesn't so you know where change is needed.
  
• Spend time understanding your dreams and desires so you can identify where you are headed.
  
• Write down the big picture of what you what to change and what dreams you want to reach.
  
• Then identify and write the smaller attainable steps within each.
  
• Prioritize. What comes first, second, and so on?
  
• So you have identified and understood your goals, broken them down and ordered them into reasonable steps, and written them down for accountability, review, and progress measurement. Now for the final step....
  
• Resolve. Make choices everyday that lead you to making progress in your resolutions.
  Whether your resolutions are for the New Year or for a new life let 2013 be the year that marks your determination to find resolve in your resolutions.

read the full article

Now that you have some time behind you since you have made your resolutions, stop and take a look at where you are. Are you serious about making the changes you set out for? Have you fallen off track? Are you celebrating success?

As you continue your journey, whether you have fallen off track or celebrating success, evaluation is always wise. The clearer you are about the true state of your situation the greater chance you have to succeed. Walking without that truth and clarity is like walking in the dark. You have a far greater chance to stumble; however the truth and clarity are like a light they help you see where you are going and lessen your chance of falling. John 11:9-10 speaks to this very idea.

Here is a little exercise I learned in marketing that has been a great help for me in both self and plan evaluation. It is called a S.W.O.T. analysis. You identify the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats that will impact your plan. Why is this so important? Because it uncovers areas thay may cause you to stumble, and when they are uncovered you can create a plan to overcome them. It also helps you identify areas in which you are doing well and adds confidence to your ability to succeed.

Do the S.W.O.T. analysis for yourself and light up the path to success!

….. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light. John 11:9-10 NLT

Stripped Away

While out running the other day I came across a tree that caught my attention. Among the many gray leafless trees stood one pure white. I stopped running to take a closer look. Initially I thought that someone had defaced the tree with paint, but as I got closer I realized that it had just been stripped. The bark was gone. This may have come by the strong winds that we have had recently or maybe just time. Whatever the cause, all I could see was what had been left. A beautiful eye catching story stood before me, and the message it gave intrigued me. Could it be when we become stripped from all that we think makes us safe it is actually the point when we have the greatest ability to standout and make a difference? Is it when the beauty of what is underneath becomes visible that we truly have a platform for success?

Maybe safety has evaded you lately or maybe the thought of plunging into the unknown has you paralysed with fear. Consider the tree, and let the thought settle within... this could be your moment to shine; your time to make a difference.

Or maybe you are hiding under the shell of what you think you should be or what others think you should be. Hurt, rejection, failure or a number of other things could have caused you to pull the cloak over yourself and never again allow it to be stripped away. Again I say, consider the tree, when it's covering was removed it revealed a inner beauty that literally stopped me in my tracks. No longer did this tree just get counted with the hundreds of others just like it; it became "the tree." Could it be that it is your time to remove the cloak and stand with your inner worth on display? You just may be surprised the impact that it could make.

Lessons from the Sugar Bowl

Those of you who know me know that I’m a huge Florida Gator fan; however this year was a tricky one. No one, me included, expected them to be good so the fact that they made it to the Sugar Bowl was pretty surprising.

If you watched the game, you know there was never a point that I was happy because Florida trailed the whole time. As I sat with arms crossed and biting my lip, I heard one of the commentators give an analysis on Florida's quarterback Derrick Driskel. He said "Driskel keeps hesitating and holds the ball too long."

To give you a little background (if needed), the passing game in football is all about timing. Receivers run a route in a specific pattern so they will become open at a certain time. If the quarterback throws the ball too late the receiver may not be open any more which will result in either an incompletion or even worse an interception.

After hearing the commentators observation of Driskel I thought to myself ‘we do this a lot in everyday life.’ Like Driskel hesitated over the football, we resist doing things we know we should do. Because of fear, doubt, and uncertainty, we end up holding the ball too long. Maybe there is a choice God wants us to make or something He wants us to do. Just like the coaches plan plays and the receivers run routes in football, God, in His infinite wisdom, has an intricate pattern in life called "His will". It too is based on timing. If we hesitate and hold the ball too long we may miss the perfect place God has for us so let the ball fly and trust God for the completion.

Chris

Trust Me

Ever feel God wants you to do something, but you have a hundred good reasons why it is a bad idea? I understand.

Earlier this month, Jeremiah was struggling to listen. I had him write down actions that could help him. After going through that exercise, I asked Jeremiah how serious he was about listening and trusting what I asked of him. Of course he responded that he was very serious. So I felt prompted to ask him if he would be willing to give up his DS and trust me that there was something better. He quickly responded that he would. I then asked him to go pack it up in a gift bag. (At this point I had no clue what we would do). His face went pale and he began questioning if I was serious. When he realized I was serious, he began to cry and say that he could not do it. I assured him that I wasn't asking him to do this because he was in trouble, and I understood how difficult it was. I encouraged him to pray about the decision. He prayed and agreed he should do it; however he just felt that he couldn't. His tears flowed and my heart broke, but I didn't feel I should give in just yet. He needed to work through this, and the decision had to be his. I held him as he cried and told him that he could trust me. I was asking him to let go of something good in order to receive something better. We prayed together and then I held him some more as he cried and wrestled with the decision. Then, he lifted his little head, dried up his tears, and said these words "I'll do it. I trust you." I was filled with relief and started to cry.

On Christmas morning, Jeremiah got a new DS and of course was thrilled. He said "You said there would be something better, and I trusted you."

I thought ... 'what a lesson in trust.' I encouraged him to always remember it especially in his relationship with Jesus.

What I didn't realize is that God was teaching me as I was teaching Jeremiah. Over the last few days, there has been something that I have felt God wants me to consider. Much like Jeremiah, I responded with panic and tears. "Are you serious?" I questioned, followed by more tears and more reasons why I just couldn't.

Then today I was reminded of Jeremiah's response. "I'll do it. I trust you."
Just like I knew that a new DS was waiting on Jeremiah if he could just let go, I have to trust God that he knows what is waiting for me if I just trust Him.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I wish I could say that I have surrendered fully: however the truth is I am still crying in His arms trying to make sure I heard correctly. When I know for sure that I heard from Him, I hope I can respond with the faith of a child.  "I'll do it. I'll trust you."

Resolve the Resolution

On the idea of New Year's Resolutions I found these two definitions to be useful:

• Resolution- the act of analyzing a complex notion into smaller ones.
• Resolve - to deal with successfully or to clear up.

So what about New Year's Resolutions?

I am a fan of setting and outlining goals and understand the success that is found when you identify specifics. It brings clarity to exactly what needs to be accomplished and allows you to more easily reduce the goal into attainable steps; however I often do not make "New Year's Resolutions". (A loud gasp is heard by all readers; 'but you said setting and outlining goals are important?') It is important, but I think the main reason I have kept my distance at the New Year is because I have grouped the idea of a New Year's Resolution in with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. What I mean is it has become just another thing we do. It is seasonal. New Year's Resolutions have a reputation for being broken. There is seldom resolve in the resolution. The complex idea is not often broken down into attainable steps and therefore it can never be dealt with successfully or cleared up.

So then, should we all just give up on the New Year's Resolutions?

No, let's transform them. Let's not only make a statement on the first day of the year, but let's make a statement everyday of the year.

Here are a few thoughts to transform from broken resolutions to resolved ones:

• Spend time understanding your current situation and identify what works and what doesn't so you know where change is needed.

• Spend time understanding your dreams and desires so you can identify where you are headed.

• Write down the big picture of what you what to change and what dreams you want to reach.

• Then identify and write the smaller attainable steps within each.

• Prioritize. What comes first, second, and so on?

So you have identified and understood your goals, broken them down and ordered them into reasonable steps, and written them down for accountability, review, and progress measurement. Now for the final step....

• Resolve. Choose each day to take the needed steps to reach your goals.  

Whether your resolutions are for the New Year or for a new life let 2013 be the year that marks your determination to find resolve in your resolutions.