How to Grow through Failure

We spend a lifetime trying to avoid it, and for many us it stands as one of our top fears. We plan, assess risks; refuse to move forward and let moments and opportunities pass us by just so we can avoid a head on collision with the F word ... FAILURE. 

Lately, I have stared failure in the eye. It seems that everywhere I turn I am faced with a heightened sense of inadequacy.  I find it at work, home, ministry, in relationships, and at the gym. Each has been quite difficult because frankly I HATE failing.  I often try everything possible to avoid it; even when it means passing up grand opportunities for the fear of failure. With my recent brush (ok honestly it has been full contact) with failure, I began to question a few things.  First, why would I allow fear to keep me from pursuing my dreams and desires if no matter how much I try to protect myself it seems that failure at some level is inevitable? Second, what is the purpose of failure? Third, what should the response to failure look like?

Let’s get honest.  Every one of us has a “dream”, better identified as a life pursuit that brings purpose and joy, that we are either living out loud, working towards, or have buried deep inside. I would dare to say that those who are “living out loud” were not granted a free pass on the failure card but somewhere the desire to live the dream outweighed the fear of any failure they could encounter. For those who are currently working towards the dream, maybe many are wrestling with the same question I asked: “if it seems that failure at some level is inevitable then why not pursue my dream?” I would like to believe that I am joining this crowd of workers who are passionately pursuing dreams and slowly casting away the paralyzing fear that once held dreams captive. I wish I could tell you what the journey holds, but until then let me join you as a voice of encouragement to keep pursuing.  Lastly, for those who have the dream buried, hear me as I say that I understand and hope that you dare to step out and believe that living the life you were created for is worth far more than any fear of failure that is currently bullying you.

So what is the point of failure?  I am sure there could be an unending debate to answer this question, but I would like to offer one suggestion that I have found helpful.  Physical training has taught me much about discipline in my overall life, and during recent research to find an improved training method to meet my increasing goals I found something that intrigued me.  It was the idea of training to failure. As you can imagine this shook me and shouted out against everything that I have grown to practice: ‘avoid failure at any cost.’ Failure in weight training is repeating properly weighted reps (based on your fitness ability) until you can’t do another rep with proper form. Your muscles fail to respond to the level of stress placed on them. The method is used to grow the size of the muscles and notes that taking a set to failure may reach deep muscle fibers that otherwise would not be affected.  Now, I am not telling you what to do in the gym because there are varying opinions on this method and workouts are NEVER one size fits all.  I am however asking you to consider that the purpose of FAILURE could be to bring about growth in our lives that would otherwise have never occurred.
What should the response to failure be?  Let’s go back to the example I used earlier about weight training.  In all the material I read one thing was constant: training to failure in every workout is not needed.  So let our first response be, not to seek or expect failure in all we do. The second thing I learned in studying the different methods of training is that rest is a must in order for muscles to repair and grow. When failure does occur, respond by allowing time for reflection and healing so that growth and strength is the ultimate result.

No one sets out to fail, but if and when it comes look for the opportunity to recover, grow stronger, and pursue life with an even greater passion

Shante