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How to Grow through Failure

We spend a lifetime trying to avoid it, and for many us it stands as one of our top fears. We plan, assess risks; refuse to move forward and let moments and opportunities pass us by just so we can avoid a head on collision with the F word ... FAILURE. 

Lately, I have stared failure in the eye. It seems that everywhere I turn I am faced with a heightened sense of inadequacy.  I find it at work, home, ministry, in relationships, and at the gym. Each has been quite difficult because frankly I HATE failing.  I often try everything possible to avoid it; even when it means passing up grand opportunities for the fear of failure. With my recent brush (ok honestly it has been full contact) with failure, I began to question a few things.  First, why would I allow fear to keep me from pursuing my dreams and desires if no matter how much I try to protect myself it seems that failure at some level is inevitable? Second, what is the purpose of failure? Third, what should the response to failure look like?

Let’s get honest.  Every one of us has a “dream”, better identified as a life pursuit that brings purpose and joy, that we are either living out loud, working towards, or have buried deep inside. I would dare to say that those who are “living out loud” were not granted a free pass on the failure card but somewhere the desire to live the dream outweighed the fear of any failure they could encounter. For those who are currently working towards the dream, maybe many are wrestling with the same question I asked: “if it seems that failure at some level is inevitable then why not pursue my dream?” I would like to believe that I am joining this crowd of workers who are passionately pursuing dreams and slowly casting away the paralyzing fear that once held dreams captive. I wish I could tell you what the journey holds, but until then let me join you as a voice of encouragement to keep pursuing.  Lastly, for those who have the dream buried, hear me as I say that I understand and hope that you dare to step out and believe that living the life you were created for is worth far more than any fear of failure that is currently bullying you.

So what is the point of failure?  I am sure there could be an unending debate to answer this question, but I would like to offer one suggestion that I have found helpful.  Physical training has taught me much about discipline in my overall life, and during recent research to find an improved training method to meet my increasing goals I found something that intrigued me.  It was the idea of training to failure. As you can imagine this shook me and shouted out against everything that I have grown to practice: ‘avoid failure at any cost.’ Failure in weight training is repeating properly weighted reps (based on your fitness ability) until you can’t do another rep with proper form. Your muscles fail to respond to the level of stress placed on them. The method is used to grow the size of the muscles and notes that taking a set to failure may reach deep muscle fibers that otherwise would not be affected.  Now, I am not telling you what to do in the gym because there are varying opinions on this method and workouts are NEVER one size fits all.  I am however asking you to consider that the purpose of FAILURE could be to bring about growth in our lives that would otherwise have never occurred.
What should the response to failure be?  Let’s go back to the example I used earlier about weight training.  In all the material I read one thing was constant: training to failure in every workout is not needed.  So let our first response be, not to seek or expect failure in all we do. The second thing I learned in studying the different methods of training is that rest is a must in order for muscles to repair and grow. When failure does occur, respond by allowing time for reflection and healing so that growth and strength is the ultimate result.

No one sets out to fail, but if and when it comes look for the opportunity to recover, grow stronger, and pursue life with an even greater passion

Shante

Secret of the Magic Pill

After all these years, I have finally found the secret of the ever illusive always sought out magic pill. You know the one. It makes you thin, perfectly sculpts your body, and catapults you into being named one of the World's 50 Most Beautiful People AND get this, it does it all without any effort on your part. So are you ready to hear the secret? Gather your friends and neighbors and listen closely. The secret is... there is no magic pill that offers weight loss, a sculpted body and beauty with no work required on your part.. Wait! Don't tune out! There is hope. It does take work, but the reward is great. Read on for the encouragement.
You CAN reach your goal, and you CAN transform your body. Now that is great news, right? Even more than that, the journey can change your life.

So are you overwhelmed with where you are versus where you want to be? I understand. It can be discouraging when all you see is the distance that is between you and your goal. I challenge you not to look at the distance between your starting point and your ending point as an impossibility, but rather look at it as an opportunity. With every step forward you unlock new possibilities and, get this, you also close the gap between the start and finish. Remember that no one ever crossed the finish line without first crossing the starting line. Understand where you are going but know it is a process, and to succeed you must embrace the process. This means that you are willing to take the steps needed to meet the goal and count every step a victory. No one runs a marathon without completing their first mile and no one runs their first mile without taking the first step. So what is the point? I know, I took away the magic pill and told you that you had to put in some work if you want to transform your body or even your life. I also know that it is not the most popular opinion or even the one I had hoped for years ago, but looking back it has been the best one. So here is the point: Work is required to see lasting results, but every minute of it is worth it when you begin achieving all that you have set out for. Don't be discouraged by the distance you have to travel to find your finish line. Be encouraged by the victory that you will find in taking the first step.

What are you going to start today that gets you closer to your goal? Might I recommend that you seek people who believe in you and your goal and will encourage you and act as accountability along the way? Then, start creating SMART short term goals that enable you to reach the more distant long term goal.

I will be sharing what I have learned about SMART goals in a later blog -

For now work hard and press on!

Shante