Duck Dynasty

Yes, I am really writing a blog about Duck Dynasty. First because I love it and second... because I love it. By the way, those two reasons are different in concept.

So here it is...

The fact that I enjoy Duck Dynasty is by far a bit odd for my personality.  I am a deep thinker and look for amazing revelations, and hidden treasures in almost everything. I strive for order, am performance driven, and at times, feel that I must keep up appearances or the universe may spin out of control. Then there is Duck Dynasty. Half of what is said makes no sense which leaves me nothing to ponder. Making duck calls, building Redneck water parks, going frog hunting in the country club golf course, and eating dozens of donuts do nothing for me in the way of answering some of life's deepest questions. Bushy beards and camouflage face paint are far from what I would consider as keeping up appearances, and if you have seen the show you know that order is hard to come by in the duck call room. So the fact I love Duck Dynasty is a bit ironic which is my first reason for sharing.

Now on to my second reason. Although Duck Dynasty is so far from "my normal," it is somehow perfectly in sync with everything I believe to be true and those things I wish to achieve. No, not frog hunting at the Country Club! It is fun and although I am a serious analytical person my hopes are that I would enjoy life. Duck Dynasty also proves that hard work can pay off and it is possible to love what you do and still provide well financially for your family. This is a truth that I hold onto which keeps me from settling for anything less than everything I was created for. It also shows that being perfect is not what keeps life in order instead it is loving and forgiving the ones around you which is a truth I need to hear often. Then there is the faith of the Robertson family which is genuinely displayed at the end of every episode and throughout their lives. That is something I appreciate above all else.

And there you have it! I love Duck Dynasty. You should watch it.

Shante

Can One Person REALLY Make a Difference?

Most of us have heard it said that one person can make a difference, but is that REALLY true?

Sometimes we feel too small to count.  We have big dreams, but our efforts seem that they will never equate to the accomplishments that we set out for. We get weighed down with the impossibilities and fall into to a cycle of doubt and discouragement. Many times I believe that this has nothing to do with the "impossibilities" but it is more commonly caused by our thinking. When we think about making a difference, we often see the big picture,  the grand accomplishment. I mean it is huge. Then this happens, a thought (or person) tells you that the big picture is too big for you.  Maybe that seems believable if we are talking changing the world single handedly and only acknowledging change when we feel the job is complete.  If however, we change our thinking and accept that we can make a difference with every action along the way, then we will see that one person really can make a difference.

Here is a story I read recently that describes this concept brilliantly.

A man on the beach where thousands of starfish lay dying in the sun saw a girl  
        tossing them into the sea, one by one.  "Why bother?" he asked.  "You want make much of a difference." Tossing yet another starfish into the sea, the girl said, "I  
        made a difference to that one."

My hope is that we will be empowered to go out and make a difference to that one person or in that one situation and who knows the impact we could see.

Be on the look out for part 2 of this post and see how making a difference in one life could just start a trend!

Shante

Keeping Relationships Healthy

Recently I have been fighting sickness that I was unaware I had. I felt the fatigue and the overall ugh, but I chose to ignore it so that I could continue with "life." My performance in my overall daily tasks continued to suffer, my body failed to recover from my workouts and mind was drained. After experiencing these warning signs for a while, I finally got "sick". The real sickness caused me several lost days of productivity and lots of pain that I could have possibly skipped if I would have just given notice to the warning signs.

As I thought about this, I wondered how often we experience the warning signs in our relationships and just ignore them so we can continue "life." After all, many of us are so busy that we don't think we have time to stop for the unscheduled needs of our spouses, children, or friends. I know I have been guilty many times of putting a task before a relationship.  My days are very planned and if I get off schedule, if often makes me feel out of control and leads to anxiety which then leads to an undesired attitude.  My recent sickness made me stop and think: would I rather have dinner on time and clean dishes or precious moments answering questions from my children and listening about their day; would I prefer to complete all my weekend projects or take time to sip coffee and laugh with good friends; would I rather make sure everything is in place before bed or spend a few intentional moments talking with my spouse? For me, the answer is the latter of each choice which focuses on relationships. I would rather spend moments with those I love than one day have to feel the the fallout or real sickness of missed relationships.

Now, I love to plan and I work well in organization, but the truth is that relationships are at times chaotic and spontaneous.  So what is an organized tasked driven person to do? I would say first look at the daily relationships that require your attention, and  spend time studying any warning signs that may point  that an all out sickness is around the corner. If any of your relationships are in that state, schedule a chunk of time in the very near future to pour health back into it.  Then, schedule time throughout the week to maintain those relationships. For example, take 20 minutes before bed to hear about your kids' day and spend time reassuring them of how much you care for them; or schedule a date night with your spouse dedicated to laughter and weekly renewal and make sure you have time to talk throughout the week about the day to day (for traveling spouses this can be more difficult, readers' suggestions welcome); and for friends, make sure to connect often whether it is monthly or every couple weekends and don't be afraid to share your life with them outside your scheduled meeting.

Now, for the unscheduled relational needs, create "white space", time that is free from tasks, in your weekly schedule in case you need to be available.  You will be surprised at the impact it could make. This can get tricky. Sometimes we tend to go from so scheduled and not making time for anything to wide open and allowing everything to become our priority. To combat this make sure that you and your family have a clear set of standards for what would qualify as an acceptable unscheduled need that warrants changing your schedule.  For example, I would say that my kid's tantrum because she doesn't like our dinner choice is not permissible to change our evening schedule. Either she eats or she doesn't. That in my opinion doesn't change the heart of our relationship. Now I would adjust my time for a friend that is going through a family matter that is beyond the day to day or a spouse that had a horrible work day, or a child that has been bullied at school. In these instances the "white space" can be used to move a current task you have to complete to a little later time (your white space) so you can complete a more pressing but unscheduled matter, or you can use your "white space" to schedule a time to meet a relational need that may be important but not require immediate attention.

Here is to keeping our relationships healthy!

Shante

What is The Cool Table

When starting this blog we mentioned that we would be sure to discuss topics that we are greatly passionate about. So here we are revealing one of our greatest passions, The Cool Table.

The Cool Table is a non-profit organization focused on building self-worth in children through relationship development, character building, and positive self-awareness.  We hold the belief that all children have unique talents and traits that should be celebrated.  The goal of our program is to identify and display these unique characteristics so they may be shared and appreciated among his/her peers and family. In doing so we wish to see heightened confidence and positive self-esteem develop within our participants.  The program is designed to connect with children in a fun and encouraging environment by using relevant age appropriate activities that lead them to explore the challenges and opportunities of the world around them while teaching leadership skills that will help them impact their world for a lifetime.  The activities will range from high energy games, to sports clinics to opportunities for artistic expression through visual and performing arts.   Every child deserves a seat at the "Cool Table" 

As directors, Chris and Shante place a high value on building authentic relationships with the families involved in this program.  They see everyday as an opportunity to live out and share the greatest relationship they have ever experienced; to be more than children's program, but a relevant resource for strengthening communities and families and dynamically changing the world by living out an authentic relationship with Jesus.

One important distinction they make is that it is not their intention to become a "Christian" program, but rather a program ran by Christians. This distinction so that the program is known not by a Christian label but rather by difference making actions that irrefutably demonstrate the love of Christ.  It is the desire of the directors to live in such a way that the world would ask about the "hope" they have.

Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope always be ready to explain it.  1Peter 3:15

From Chris and Shante:

This is just life.  We have both triumphs and failures that have made us who we are, but in both the one thing that has remained constant is the love that Jesus has for us.  It is a love that we feel compelled to share with the world. Running around, playing games, and acting goofy with kids, well that is just a sweet bonus!

Sound interesting?  Check us out on FB - Cool Table Ministries. On Twitter @cooltable4life

On You Tube CoolTable4Life Channel and make sure to check Journey to The Cool Table often.  

                 

The Tim Tebow Challenge

So you have heard that we are trying to get Tim Tebow's attention to retweet our blog.  Check out the video to see why its such a big deal 

The Tim Tebow challenge

                                          

Contest Drawing

Check out the video below to find out the winner of the $25 giveaway 

If you are having trouble viewing this video click on the link
 Watch "Contest drawing" on YouTube

How to Grow through Failure

We spend a lifetime trying to avoid it, and for many us it stands as one of our top fears. We plan, assess risks; refuse to move forward and let moments and opportunities pass us by just so we can avoid a head on collision with the F word ... FAILURE. 

Lately, I have stared failure in the eye. It seems that everywhere I turn I am faced with a heightened sense of inadequacy.  I find it at work, home, ministry, in relationships, and at the gym. Each has been quite difficult because frankly I HATE failing.  I often try everything possible to avoid it; even when it means passing up grand opportunities for the fear of failure. With my recent brush (ok honestly it has been full contact) with failure, I began to question a few things.  First, why would I allow fear to keep me from pursuing my dreams and desires if no matter how much I try to protect myself it seems that failure at some level is inevitable? Second, what is the purpose of failure? Third, what should the response to failure look like?

Let’s get honest.  Every one of us has a “dream”, better identified as a life pursuit that brings purpose and joy, that we are either living out loud, working towards, or have buried deep inside. I would dare to say that those who are “living out loud” were not granted a free pass on the failure card but somewhere the desire to live the dream outweighed the fear of any failure they could encounter. For those who are currently working towards the dream, maybe many are wrestling with the same question I asked: “if it seems that failure at some level is inevitable then why not pursue my dream?” I would like to believe that I am joining this crowd of workers who are passionately pursuing dreams and slowly casting away the paralyzing fear that once held dreams captive. I wish I could tell you what the journey holds, but until then let me join you as a voice of encouragement to keep pursuing.  Lastly, for those who have the dream buried, hear me as I say that I understand and hope that you dare to step out and believe that living the life you were created for is worth far more than any fear of failure that is currently bullying you.

So what is the point of failure?  I am sure there could be an unending debate to answer this question, but I would like to offer one suggestion that I have found helpful.  Physical training has taught me much about discipline in my overall life, and during recent research to find an improved training method to meet my increasing goals I found something that intrigued me.  It was the idea of training to failure. As you can imagine this shook me and shouted out against everything that I have grown to practice: ‘avoid failure at any cost.’ Failure in weight training is repeating properly weighted reps (based on your fitness ability) until you can’t do another rep with proper form. Your muscles fail to respond to the level of stress placed on them. The method is used to grow the size of the muscles and notes that taking a set to failure may reach deep muscle fibers that otherwise would not be affected.  Now, I am not telling you what to do in the gym because there are varying opinions on this method and workouts are NEVER one size fits all.  I am however asking you to consider that the purpose of FAILURE could be to bring about growth in our lives that would otherwise have never occurred.
What should the response to failure be?  Let’s go back to the example I used earlier about weight training.  In all the material I read one thing was constant: training to failure in every workout is not needed.  So let our first response be, not to seek or expect failure in all we do. The second thing I learned in studying the different methods of training is that rest is a must in order for muscles to repair and grow. When failure does occur, respond by allowing time for reflection and healing so that growth and strength is the ultimate result.

No one sets out to fail, but if and when it comes look for the opportunity to recover, grow stronger, and pursue life with an even greater passion

Shante

Secret of the Magic Pill

After all these years, I have finally found the secret of the ever illusive always sought out magic pill. You know the one. It makes you thin, perfectly sculpts your body, and catapults you into being named one of the World's 50 Most Beautiful People AND get this, it does it all without any effort on your part. So are you ready to hear the secret? Gather your friends and neighbors and listen closely. The secret is... there is no magic pill that offers weight loss, a sculpted body and beauty with no work required on your part.. Wait! Don't tune out! There is hope. It does take work, but the reward is great. Read on for the encouragement.
You CAN reach your goal, and you CAN transform your body. Now that is great news, right? Even more than that, the journey can change your life.

So are you overwhelmed with where you are versus where you want to be? I understand. It can be discouraging when all you see is the distance that is between you and your goal. I challenge you not to look at the distance between your starting point and your ending point as an impossibility, but rather look at it as an opportunity. With every step forward you unlock new possibilities and, get this, you also close the gap between the start and finish. Remember that no one ever crossed the finish line without first crossing the starting line. Understand where you are going but know it is a process, and to succeed you must embrace the process. This means that you are willing to take the steps needed to meet the goal and count every step a victory. No one runs a marathon without completing their first mile and no one runs their first mile without taking the first step. So what is the point? I know, I took away the magic pill and told you that you had to put in some work if you want to transform your body or even your life. I also know that it is not the most popular opinion or even the one I had hoped for years ago, but looking back it has been the best one. So here is the point: Work is required to see lasting results, but every minute of it is worth it when you begin achieving all that you have set out for. Don't be discouraged by the distance you have to travel to find your finish line. Be encouraged by the victory that you will find in taking the first step.

What are you going to start today that gets you closer to your goal? Might I recommend that you seek people who believe in you and your goal and will encourage you and act as accountability along the way? Then, start creating SMART short term goals that enable you to reach the more distant long term goal.

I will be sharing what I have learned about SMART goals in a later blog -

For now work hard and press on!

Shante